


Memories

by pain_and_panic



Series: memories [2]
Category: Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Illnesses, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-02-28 05:07:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2719805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pain_and_panic/pseuds/pain_and_panic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bumblebee's gun hum to life, and the young mech aim to barricade. "Let the boy go, decepticons, it's between me and you! Don't worry Sam everything will be fine..." <br/>Both the older mech and the young boy look at him, with identical sad and pitiful expression. "Bee" the human said, "'Cade will not harm me, he has been your spark mate for almost an year by now, do you remember?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing but the device I'm writing on. And the errors. The errors are all mine, for sure!  
> It is my first story, and English is not my first language, so the comments are very welcomed, and the review even more!

Bumblebee's gun hum to life, and the young mech aim to Barricade. "Let the boy go, decepticons, it's between me and you! Don't worry Sam everything will be fine..."   
Both the older mech and the young boy look at him, with identical sad and pitiful expression. "Bee" the human says, "'Cade will not harm me, he has been your spark mate for almost an year by now, do you remember?"

 

Sam regrets he didn't said nothing ten months before.

To be completely honest, Sam knows in his guts that something was going to happen, because  everything seems to good for him. He had a brilliant and gorgeous girlfriend, his best friend is a giant alien robot and said robot disguises himself becoming the sweetest car a boy can dream.   
But said robot-slash-car-slash-alien recently seems to Sam a little bit distracted and far away. The teen angsty kick in, telling him that probably a super-cool-robot-warrior can get bored of a human teenager. Especially if said robot had just started to screwing around with an ex-enemy, a black, red-eyes interceptor called Barricade. 'Kaela keep telling him how cute the new couple was, “stop to be jealous and be happy for Bee, Sam…”. But Bee became more and more distract, and sometime he cannot remember stuff that Sam told him.  
"He's in love Sam, give him a pause" "but Mikaela, he is a robot, he's not supposed to forget stuff" 

And now said robo-best friend is looking at him with wild, lost optics.

Bee is trying really hard but he cannot recall anything.

'Cade, on the other hand can see all their life together, from the last fight to the first race ran only for fun. Like it happened 10 minutes ago instead of ten months, he can remember how  he court the younger mech, in a shy and awkward way (but, shut up, he is a warrior not a lover). Fortunately Mikaela played cupid for them!    
And now his spark mate cannot recognize him...

So they stay still, staring  each other.  
Or, in Sam's case, staring the giant  weapon of is guardian, but ok, you know, it is such a huge cannon...

And Bee?  
Bee is there.

Bee is there, trying to understand.

Bee is there, trying to understand why his spark keeps telling him that he's in front of his own other-half-spark and his processors keeps telling him that he's in front of an enemy.

Bee is there, trying to not panics.

Bee is there, failing to not panics.

And Bee is there, and Cade is wandering if he will faint like five months ago, when during a meeting with Optimus and all the staff, Bee just fell like a marionette with cutted wires. That time Cade really believed  that his spark stopped. But that time Ratchet said to them that the young mech was too tired, because between patrol, his guardian duties and nocturnal activity (Cade winced at that), he got no time to sleep. Easy to foreseen, Hide tried to kill Cade to harm his youngling. But Cade is the sparkmate of said youngling, and killing him means kills Bee as well.

Ratchet said that was nothing, but what if he missed something?   
Because, of course, something's completely wrong with Bee.

Bee, who looks at them, and try to inhale to calm down and to avoid overheating. But the key word seems to be "try". "Try" like in "do your best, and fail". And suddenly start to heavy panting, and that's not enough. Cade’s arms are all around his waist, just under his door wings, to keeps him stable, and Bee can hear his (beloved!) (no! enemy!) murmur “everything is gonna be ok, babe, just vent, I’m here, I’m here, Sam, please, bring here Ratchet…hush, my dearest, you will be ok…”  
After that, and with several alerts on his HUD, the darkness that devour him is a nice comfort for his abused mind.

The ex-con feels come back all the rage his spark mate help him to dominate, and only the fainted body in his arm keeps him to attach everyone all around.  
But as soon as he lean his lover on their berth to leave the medic visit the yellow mech, he feels like he had to run away to the desert, to make cactuses explode.  
Except for the fact he cannot do so, he cannot leave Bee out of his sight. 

Bee’s optics flash, and he come back online. Cade stares at him, as the younger mech looks around in confusion, till their optics meet and Bee smiles weakly “hey Bad Boy, what happen?”  
Cade let out the breath he don’t notice he is holding, and in no time the yellow mech is safe in his arm.  
Bee can feel Cade’s spark, the fear and the anxiety and the relief. Lover? what’s happen? he asks though their spark link. But Cade is not looking at him, he is staring at the CMO, waiting for an explanation.

An explanation that Ratchet hasn’t, not for the moment. But he will find it, if it is the last thing he'll ever do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again I own nothing but the device I'm writing on and the errors. The errors are all mine, for sure!  
> It is my first story, and English is not my first language, so the comments are very welcomed, and the review even more!
> 
> very short chapter, the "I cannot sleep, let try to do something useful" kind of chapter.

Sam is looking at the two mech sleeping in his garden, Cade apparently is a cuddlier... I can be more amused, and maybe takes some pictures to blackmail the black mech, if only he can suppress the lump in his throat.

After two weeks from the "I forgot my sparkmate" accident, this morning Bee went through another memory crisis... 

Sam almost start to cry (again) just  remembering the episode: at the start Bee just seems too sleepy to understand that Sam was inside him, ready to go to school.  
"You should start the engine, Bee" Sam told him gently.  
"Yeah, sorry Sam" was the quiet answer  
"Bee, you should  change gear"  
"Uhu, yeah, you are right"  
"Bee, you have to turn right "  
"Sam" the yellow mech answered sharply, "you haven't to tell me how to arrive to..."    And after some, infinite second of silent "...Sam..."  the sad, scared and fragile  voice almost broke the boy's heart "where are we going?"  
All Sam can do in that moment was grip firmly the steering wheels to let the mech knows he was there, and toke the control of they route. He managed to arrive at school, and went into hiding in the toilet, before broke up and cry.

And now he feel like he can start to cry again, just looking at the yellow, fragile mech curled up all around his lover.

For this night he will guard upon his guardian, not able to do anything but pray for a solution.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I own nothing but the device I'm writing on. And the errors. The errors are all mine, for sure!  
> It is my first story, and English is not my first language, so the comments are very welcomed, and the review even more!
> 
> I know, I’m posting really short chapter, but I guess they are better than nothing, and I should maintain my courage and avoid to destroy everything.

Cade stare at the immobile frame in a berth of the medbay.  
If you just ignore all the cables Bee seems just recharging.  
But he isn’t .

Two hours ago Cade went to pickups Sam from the school and brought him to the NEST. They arrived at Bee’s and Cade’s room, and they just stopped on the doorstep, hearth and spark frozen from the views in front of them.  
Cade had left Bee sleeping on the couch before he went out, and now the youngling was rubbing said couch to remove what looks like motor oil from it. The same substance was also all on his yellow legs, and Cade realized with horror that Bee just pee on himself and on the coach. “oh, Bee…” he whispered “oh my dearest Love…”. At that the yellow mech noticed them, and looked at them with washer fluid streaming down from the blue optics.  
“I… I don’t know…. Cannot remember what happen… I just wake up and…”  
Bee tried to explain his accident thought the sobbing.  
“let’s go to the wash rack ok? I will clean here later…”  
With an arm under the doorwings, Cade drove Bee to clean himself, and hold the young mech when he cried himself to sleep under the shower.

Sam had run to Ratchet to explain him the situation before, so when Cade enter in the medbay bringing the yellow bug in his arms, the docbot was ready to help him, and started to scan and to make new test to understand what is going on with the young scout.

And now he can just wait, praying the doctor can help his spark mate. And suddenly and alarm ring and one of the monitor connected to Bumblebee flares.

Oh Primus.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam is waiting with Cade for some answers from Ratchet. The docbot just kicks them out to work freely on Bee.

So, Sam has plenty of time to think and regret his choice. And ok, it wasn’t a choice at all, Cade just understood that seen Bee make him struggles and cry, and try to help. The results are that Sam didn’t see Bee for the past three days. 

If only three days ago Sam would act like a grow up man instead of cry, maybe now he can feel less like he left behind his best friend.

But, three days ago Bee just drove Sam back from school and entered in the garage like he never left. Cade was waiting outside the garage door, and looked confused, well, confused like a police car can, anyway…

By the time Sam went in, dropped his bag, said hello to his parents and went back out, the yellow mach had manage to turned everything upside down, and he still dig around.  
“Bee, what are you looking for?”  
“My blanket, the one Jazz gave me when I was a Sparkling, it has yellow and white stripes and is quite ruined but I’m not able to sleep without it, I used to bring it around all the time, did you saw it?”  
“Slow down Bee, maybe is in our berth?” Cade tried to step in, even if he cannot remember anything that looks like a blanket…  
“Bee” Sam sigh, and Cade went freeze recognizing the tone of the boy, the same he used every time Bee had one of his 'crisis'.  
“Bee, during Jazz’s funeral you let the blanket there, like a tribute, right?”  
“Jazz’ Funeral? Jazz died??? oh, Primus, no no no… Please, Cade, said something, that cannot be true… I cannot forget about something like that…”  
Sam was hugging him, like a normal boy can hug a 6ft robot, but anyway, he was trying and he was crying with him.

Than night Bee and Cade slept in Sam’s garage, and from the morning after was just Cade to take the boy at school.

Only because Sam keeps crying like a baby all the time… and now? what if his guardian never wake up anymore? what if he died?

Ratchet arrive in that moment to stop this dark thinks. “He is stable, and now I know what the problem is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feeling guilty for the cliffhanger I just add another chapter, with another cliffhanger!!  
> logic, not my stuff today!
> 
>  
> 
> Again, I own nothing but the device I'm writing on. And the errors. The errors are all mine, for sure!  
> It is my first story, and English is not my first language, so the comments are very welcomed, and the review even more!


	5. Chapter 5

Cade has a sleeping little Bee in his arm. His sparkmate is wrap in the new blanket Ms Witwicki made for him after the little crisis of the last week. She had to patch together many child's blanket to obtain a patchwork-robot-size-blanket. She said that is the minimum for her son's guardian...

The blanket should be just a comfort item, since the cybertronian bodies are well regulated, but Bee's regulation system fail couple of hours ago, and now the blanket allows the youngling to maintain a correct temperature. Cade is in charge now to check said temperature and to refers to Ratchet every single change.

Apparently the deputed organ to creates new nanites for auto-repairs takes raw material everywhere. The cybertronian adults develops filters for all the dangerous components, but Bee doesn't has this filter yet. On Cybertron that is very unlikely, but many materials on Earth are able to make that nanites go rogues. And now they started to attack Bee's internal components and Bee's systems are shooting down one after the other, Ratchet said. 

In this moment Ratchet is working on a virus that can kill all the nanites. After that Bee will needs a transplant of nanites from a donator. Easy to foreseen, all the bots at NEST are in the queue for donate. Cade tried to say that the nanites should came from him, but Ratchet argue that Bee will need his spark mate in his best condition, so probably Optimus or Ironhide will be the donators.  
Meanwhile the government is building a sterile chamber for Bee for the period after the virus injection and before the transplanted nanites kick in. 

So all Cade can do by now is wait, hold his love and enjoy the few moments the young yellow bot is lucid and has no pain.

Yesterday was a good day and they managed to had a shower together. Bee look at him with his bright optics and said:"I remember you, Bad Boy, today I know you, my love..." Cade kissed him at that, hugged him and cried in his lover arms, for both of them. They spent all the rest of the day cuddling and interfacing. To be fair, it tooks a while to Bee to make Cade comfortable after the episode in the shower, the older mech to embarrassed for his moment of weakness, but Bee's puppy eyes and his soft reassurance worked...

Said sweet optics came online, and the yellow bot look at Cade, and weakly smile to him.  
"Hey" he whisper, but after that he just looks at the black bot in confusion:" I know you, I know that I love you, I know that I cannot live without you, but...."  
"But what, lil' Bee?"  
"I cannot remember your name, I'm sorry I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-so-sorry-so-sorry...."  
"Hush, love, hush, everything will be alright, I'm here, your Cade is here, I will take care of you..."  
Frag, Cade cannot reconize himself, he was a Decepticon, a strong one, he was ferocious and sparkless, he killed so many Autobot during the war, and now this youngling, this enemy make him act like a emotional femme! That night half of the cactus in Nevada desert pay for Barricade frustration and desperation...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if my story, or my geography, offend anyone (I’m not sure were NEST command was in the film, and I’m not from US; also, Bee problem is a mix between an autoimmune pathology and a leukemia, and I really hope I didn’t offend anyone)  
> there should be a couple of others chapters for this story, but I’m not really sure I will be able to update so often. I will do my best…  
> As always, I don’t own nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, I will love ear you opinion about that, again I own nothing but the errors.

Sam looks through the windows of the sterile room at the two mech inside.  
After the injection of the virus Bee started to purge his tanks and whine in pain, and Ratchet just capitulated to sterilize Ironhide as well. The black mech is inside the chamber now, trying to comfort his youngling. 

Sam is sure that this role should be of Barricade, but the ex Con disappeared two weeks ago.  
According to their intelligence, he is trying to die out all the cactus between the NEST HQ and Albuquerque, a ridiculous amount of desert, if you ask to Sam…  
Anyway, when Ratchet said that they couldn’t wait for Cade to start the cure, Bee just smiled sadly and asked the docbot to start without his sparkmate.

If on one side Sam understood Cade’s pain, he sort of hated him to leave Bee behind: Cade, that could be close to the yellow bot, refuse to be there when, on the other hands, Sam, who could kill to be able to be closer to his guardian, cannot, due to his physiology and the impossibility to remove from him that components that created the damage at the first. 

Two weeks, since the last time they saw the ex con, two weeks of cure, two weeks of justification from Bee for his spark mate behavior, of Bee yelling at Hide thought the window that how they live they relationship wasn’t his matter, frag off old mech. After a week, after Ratchet injected the new nannies from Optimus, with Bee that could just cry in a trembling little ball in the sterile chamber berth, without even the comfort of the privacy of a curtain, the pain of the cure and of the desertion of his beloved too big for his weakened processor, Hide decided he was going inside, whatever Ratchet could prefer or believed. He spent all the time whispering at Bee old lullabies, as when the yellow mech was a sparkling affected by war-related nightmares. Hide didn’t care if sometime Bee made dents in his armor trying to fight the pain, he didn’t care if his chest plates were damp of washer fluid, or if he cannot feel his right arm, the one of his favorite cannon, the one Bee always prefer sleep, anymore. The only important thing is that the yellow bundle in his arm is still online.

Sam looks at the two mechs, at their pain (phisical for Bee, spiritual for Hide), and makes a resolution.  
After another weeks of fight, Bee's optics come online after the recharge and he realize that Sam bring back his sparkmate.

Primus bless that little crazy human.


	7. Chapter 7

Optimus is presenting the new Autobots to the NEST resident humans. Bee knows he should listen, but he cannot force himself to do so.  
Bee is scared. When this morning he purged his tanks, he tried to pretend that everything is ok. But now he feel dizzy, and he doesn’t like it.  
Oh Primus, please don’t let it restart!  
The whole experience with the self-attaching nanites was a nightmare, worst than had his vocalizer rip off by Megatron. His whole body betrayed him, every single system failed: he lost the control of his memories, of his thermal control, of his tanks and of his bladder. He felt so much pain and there was moment when he really believed he wasn’t going to survive. But the worst part was what this experience did to his family.  
Ironhide looks older and exhausted, Optimus has this look like someone just told him that the war is starting again, Ratchet spent all his time to run checkup on everyone, all the day and often even during the night, too scared of missing something on someone else to get some recharge. 

(And, by the way, waking up in the middle of the night with Cade sleeping and spooning him and Ratchet scanning both of them was the creepiest experience ever, if you ask to Bumblebee)

Sam looks like he will not let Bee out of his sight anytime soon and, in cooperation with Cade, he check every single vent, every single movement, every single act, to be sure nothing is wrong with their yellow bot.

Cade is taking this harder of everyone. Even if Bee forgave him in the moment he saw Cade’s scared optics the day Sam brought him back, the ex con cannot forgive himself to let his other half dealing with the cure alone. 

Right now Cade is looking at Bee from the other side of the room, feeling the younger one’s distress even if Bee is trying to hide it from their spark link. 

Bee offline his optics for a moment, to try to find some balance and erase the dark shadows on the corners of his view. When he online them again, Cade is on his side, ready to catch him, and everyone in the room is frozen stiff, looking at them. Bee sigh, and suddenly Ratchet is scanning him, and Optimus and Hide are declaring the end of meeting and they are kicking out everyone.

Ratchet run the first scan frantically. He looks at the results and scan Bee again, and his puzzled expression is almost comic.  
He’s checking his scanner now, and after that he scan Bee again. Bee would like to be able to understand the docbot expression, because by now he is clueless. His spark mate expression reflex the same unawareness.

Bee is still looking at Cade, who is looking back at him, so neither of them see Ratchet throw the wrench to the ex con. “Barricade, when I told you that Bee still needs rest and leisure and to avoid wearing activities I was meaning that you should avoid to go, frag him and get him sparked!”

“Sparked?” Hide ask, “what do you mean with sparked?”  
“Hide, do you know how the baby are created? Birds, bees and all the gig?”  
“I’m becoming grandsire????”

Fortunately Cade came closer to Bee, so the yellow, pregnant mech can catch him when the older mech black out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that’s the end, thank you for follow this little brain fart.  
> again, I will love ear you opinion about that, again I own nothing but the errors.


	8. Author's note

Hi everyone! just to say that I'm writing the prologue to Memories, it's called "Nights like this".

I would love to know your opinion on the matter!

Cheers


End file.
